All English teachers when they arrive in Korea are forced to partake in a completely superficial health check. Originally we thought it would include chest x-rays for TB or cancer to make sure you weren’t there for health treatment but when I discovered what was being tested I was annoyed. The check included a drug test, HIV test, weight check, height check, eye test and colorblindness test just to make sure you are fit to teach, because you don’t want your kids learning the color orange if it is green. They also usually do a dental check but we got out of that. All of this cost over 30won (30$) and would have been more if the dental check was included. Although this is not a big amount it was out of pocket and I was unaware I would have to pay for these costs or even that I would have to undergo the check, so on Monday I was a bit taken aback when they told me to be ready for my check on Thursday morning.
Immediately I became slightly nervous and annoyed that it was so early in the morning and it was on the morning after a preplanned night out I was invited to. In addition I was told that normally health checks don’t occur until you have been in the country for more than a month, so ours was early. I was told that the health check was pretty much a joke and when the Korean government first instated these health checks on foreigners they had so many people failing the drug test that they were forced to change when they had to be completed by, go figure.
There were five of us who entered the downtown hospital at 9am Thursday morning. I already don’t like needles so as I arrived after a night of socializing and drinking I was a bit worried about the needles and what my tests might reveal. I was still slightly intoxicated from the night before and was worried about alcohol or sugar levels in my blood, after all they did tell us to not consume anything after 11pm and I got home at 3am, woops. When I woke up that morning I began to drink liters and liters of water to try and “fix” my BAL (blood alcohol level), and by the time I reached the hospital I started to feel slightly ill. I drank so much that I thought I would start peeing every two minutes but as it turned out I must have been seriously dehydrated and I am just happy I had drank enough to give them the small sample they required.
The Korean hospital is slightly bizarre and was a bit of a culture shock. There is no privacy and most things are done right in the open. There were different buildings and we had to go from building to building to get all the different checks done. There was an outside waiting area which was covered for rain. People were waiting in this area and patients were also sitting and enjoying the sun IV’s and all. This area is in the middle of the city and patients could come and go as they please. First we went inside, filled out the necessary paper work and went and got our numbers. It was like a meet department. You got a number and bar code assigned to you then when your number is called you go up to the counter. Here sat four women behind a long desk like counter similar to a bank. They had a number sign on each desk and when your number came up you went forward and sat down. The woman pulled out new gloves and needles and began to take your blood. The process was like a Ford assembly line. It was in front of everyone and after they draw your blood they place your barcode on the vial then put it on the conveyer belt to head to the lab. When it was my turn I was a bit squeamish and the girls thought it was kind of funny and kept talking to me in Korean. Overall it was pretty quick and painless, and after I was handed a cup with my barcode on it. I got up and could fill it whenever I was ready in the public toilets, completely unsupervised, I guess that is so some foreigners can pass the drug test.
This was my first experience with a squat toilet which was interesting. I halfway filled my cup very proud of my accomplishment. After I dropped my cup off on the designated stand in the middle of the waiting room where anyone could taint it or take it, I was a bit concerned and it makes you wonder. After this process we left the building to go to another area where they weighed us, measure us, and tested our eyes. I discovered I was slightly taller than I thought and my eyesight is better than perfect, not so bad. I even passed my colorblind test! What a good little patient I was. After the whole ordeal they told us we needed another blood test because they already threw out our samples and didn’t get a cholesterol test, as if! We all refused to do more testing and were allowed to leave. Everyone survived the experience, and successfully passed the tests though some were looking more green than others. I just hope that I never get sick in Korea because I never want to go back to the hospital!
As an aside, I have noticed since I have been here that Korea is the type of country that is all or nothing. The people are workaholics always pushing their kids to do more, master more and study more. They expect very little of their kids in the way of household chores but want them to study till midnight and get up at 6am, master the piano, be a star baseball player and math genius. On the other extreme they are a society that does not wash their hands all that much, never has paper towels and sometimes no soap in the bathroom but as soon as someone gets sick they freak out, put antibacterial spray everywhere, wear face masks, demand a health check on foreigners and at the slightest chance of someone being sick with swine flu, they close the schools. Swine flu here is associated closely with foreigners and they already quarantined over 50 newly arrived teachers one week after I arrived because they assume we are bringing the virus with us. In addition the school next door to me has had 5 suspected cases of swine flu and has had a mandatory closing for a week. Because of this scare our school closed Friday as well. It seems that Korea is afraid of what foreigners will bring back but they are not as worried about the daily preventative practices of their own population.
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